DAMN!!!!

I just read all the pathetic posts that I had completely forgotten about. And all I have to say is WOW! I was such a whiner when I wrote them

Just Tell Me

One thing I absolutely cannot stand is when people aren't strait forward with me. If you have something that you want to tell me that is important just tell me. Please don't tell me in a roundabout way and leave me guessing. The meaning for the most part isn't clear and it just confuses me even more. It even hurts more when you're not given a strait answer. I'm just tired hurt all the time. I know that a lot of times I don't show it and that I totally understand. But for the most part that isn't true. I'm usually in too much shock to start crying or whatever. The emotions kick in later. And I'm definantly not understanding. How am I suppose to understand something when I'm receiving mixed messages? So all I'm asking is please be completely honest with me, even if it has to do with a relationship-related issue. Honesty hurts less than vagueness.

I really don't know what to think

The last few days have been just horrible. I guess it's just been a lot of little things slowly building up. But I think that now my stress has peaked. It's so frustrating!!!! The funny thing is that the one thing that I thought would be my biggest worry is probably my smallest, which I never thought would be the case. I guess in a way it's good that there are other more pressing issues to keep my mind off of that one extremely confusing situation.
On a happier note, I think I finally found myself a job. Granted it's not my ideal job but it'll do for now. Better making a little bit of money selling burgers and fries than being jobless and not making any money at all.

ahhh.......

Today just sucked!!!! My day began with waking up 15 minutes after my 8am started. Not the best way to start the day. So instead of going to class I took a quick shower. At 8:50 I headed over to the music building for theory. As I was walking in the door I suddenly remembered that there was a keyboard test scheduled for today....oops......didn't practice for that one. So I winged it. Not the smartest thing to do but oh well. I think I did alright. After theory I decided not to go to percussion techniques. I had forgotten to do the homework that was due in Comp. today. So I unsucsseffuly attempted to do that instead. Then I went to symphonic band and blew my chops playing my flugel. Yeah, flugels aren't designed for playing up high. But I had to do it anyway....AHHHH.....stupid German composers. When I finally got out of band I had to haul but over to Clark for my dreaded Comp. class. And of course I didn't have the homework. What a crappy day. It wasn't all that bad, it was just stressful. I absolutely hate tuesdays. Thursdays are pretty bad as well. Good thing tomorrow is wednesday and all I have is my trumpet lesson and winds.

Broken Heart

For some reason I'm always the one who gets their heart ripped to shreds. Why am I the girl who is only flirt worthy, not relationship worthy? I just don't get it. I seriously thought that I had finally found someone who was actually interested in me. But no, all they want to do is flirt even though they are "unavailible". Do guys realize how much this hurts, apperently not. To clarify what I'm talking about this is not the occasional flirting, this is non stop flirting. I just want to know what's going on. Because right now I'm just confused and a little hurt.

What NOT to Wear

ok so I've been noticing over the last few months that some people don't have a clue when it comes to dressing themselves. so I've put together a list of things that must be avoided at all costs.
1. the underwear needs to stay in the pants. for all you guys out there please try to wear pants that acutally fit you. do you know how stupid you look walking around with your boxers hanging out. it looks idiodic and it's a major turn-off for many girls. as for you girls out there no one cares what you thong looks like. so keep it in your pants!!!!
2. ripped jeans are NOT cool. it's okay to a 1 or 2 little holes in your pants, as long as it's not in an awakward place, but if your pants are so baddly ripped that your entire leg is sticking out throw the jeans away. you look like a bum. and if you don't have the money to buy new jeans go a thrift store or something. they'll have nicer jeans than what you're wearing.
3. hooker boots. if you're going to wear hooker boot over your jeans make sure that you're wearing skinny legged jeans. it just looks dumb when people wear their hooker boot with their flaired jeans scrunched up at the top.
4. I've noticed lately that the whole skirt with leggings thing is coming back. please, for all humanity's sake, don't wear leggings with your mini skirt. mini skirts are designed to show off the legs. if you don't want to show your legs wear PANTS.
5. and please don't wear booty short(aka hot pants) not many people can pull of the booty short look. and it doesn't look very attractive when your butt is hanging out of your shorts.

a very hectic first day of classes

today was really long. my first class started at 8am and i didn't get a break until 3:25pm.....sigh.....it was a very long day. it was also kind of eventful. i had my horn audition today. it really sucked. i also had to audition on trumpet.....even though juries were supose to count as auditions. i didn't have anything prepared for that. it sucked. i hate mcdonalds. that was kind of random. so this evening i went to the music building and found the new rosters for all the major ensembles. i couldn't find my name anywhere. i freaked out. so i emailed matt to find out what was going on. i guess he thought that i didn't want to play horn in any ensembles. he saw that i was playing trumpet in symphonic band and just assumed that i was done with horn. this really confused me because i auditioned for him earlier. i guess i forgot to tell him that i was playing trumpet in syphonic band. i just thought that he knew. well i was wrong. so he fixed it and i am now in wind ensemble on horn. now i can breath a little. what a day